Monthly Archives: September 2021

Be Strong

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In Stronger, George S. Everly Jr., Douglas A. Strouse, and Dennis K. McCormack discuss people’s ability to overcome adversity and develop resiliency. They focus on five core factors of personal resiliency: optimism, decisive action, moral compass, tenacity, and support. Because people’s responses to their situations matter more than the situations themselves, resilience is an important trait for any person in any situation. Much of the data for the book came from observations of the norms of the Navy SEALS and their unique training to build resilience, as well as scholarly reviews and the authors’ personal and professional observations.

ACTIVE OPTIMISM AND THE SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY

Resiliency is the ability to bounce back from adversity and make good decisions, even under pressure. Regardless of what causes pressure, some people are able to respond in ways that help, rather than hurt, them. However, with intentional practice, all people can control how they respond to negative events by retraining their brains. The first step to retraining is optimism, or the lens through which people view the world.

Optimists take positive views of their situations and expect the best. Because of this mind-set, they tend to be happier and more successful than pessimists. Their hope and belief that things will go well allows them to see opportunities in adversity. Unlike pessimists, they have different interpretations of setbacks, and their responses to failure impact their resiliency.

Entrepreneurs, who are risk takers with new ideas, are usually optimistic. Because they have the characteristic of active optimism, they do not see risk-taking in a negative light; instead, they believe they can make things better. They persist in their actions and try again when they fail.

As optimists find success, they better understand what it takes and continue the actions that made them successful. The result is a self-fulfilling prophecy that demonstrates how much a person’s state of mind really matters. But self-fulfilling prophecy will become negative if people use it to predict failure. Belief systems are related to individual performance.

Active optimism is not necessarily an inherent personality trait. It can be developed through four modes of learning:

1. Personal attainment. Taking action and achieving some small success helps reverse negative feelings from previous failures and increases optimism. To keep from being overwhelmed, people should start by breaking down big ideas into small, doable tasks and not being afraid to ask for help.

2. Observation. Watching what others do can help motivate people to take action as well. Also effective is seeing other people be successful and belonging to a successful group, as members expect one another to become successful.

3. Encouragement. People need positive support networks in which to share their dreams. With a mentor or a like-minded group, people feel more connected, and connection is a powerful influencer of resilience.

4. Self-control. Thoughts are powerful, and thinking positively is a must for developing optimism. How people interpret their physical responses (e.g., increased heart rate) to specific situations can impact what happens next. If they interpret a response as anxiety, they will practice avoidance; if they interpret it as anticipation, they will be more inclined to put that energy into positive action. Learning calming techniques and using biofeedback can help people regulate physical responses and feel in control, which conveys confidence.

THE COURAGE TO BE DECISIVE AND TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

Those who are able to act decisively often reap the rewards of their actions, whereas hesitancy can lead to defeat. Consider Winston Churchill’s actions during the Dunkirk evacuation in World War II . Rather than evacuating wounded soldiers first, he made the decision they would be last because able-bodied soldiers were needed as long as possible. This counterintuitive action mitigated additional adverse effects of the war.

Decisiveness is also proven to help people bounce back from adversity associated with health. A study of nursing home residents in 1976 revealed that residents given responsibility and the authority to make decisions regarding their care were more active and happier overall. These results were still present even 18 months later.

Decisiveness is a quality clearly seen in good leaders. George Masi is the executive vice president of Harris Health System, the third largest hospital in the nation. Many of his lessons about resilience were learned during his 27 years in the Army. During that time, he was in charge of a field-training exercise to test the team’s capacity for combat operations. When it came time for a real-life scenario, the team was deployed but failed in its mission. Masi believed this failure was because his team had not been trained properly by the previous leader and asked for more time for training. Rather than only seeing failure, he wanted to learn from the mistakes and was not afraid to address the problem at the core.

Personal responsibility takes courage during times of failure, but enables people to also take credit for success. It also earns the respect of others who see decisiveness during and after adverse events as evidence of courage and strength. Others will begin to make assumptions that these are people who have the capability to take decisive action in other areas of their lives.

Taking personal responsibility and increasing decisiveness is not easy, but people can become more decisive by:

*Realizing that failure is simply part of the process; the response to failure is what matters.

*Surrounding themselves with advisors who appreciate their differences and can support their decisions.

*Breaking down large tasks into smaller pieces, which makes it easier for people to decide the next step.

*When approaching problems, first evaluating the needs, causes, effects, and actions before diving right in. People should not make decisions blindly.

THE MORAL COMPASS: HONESTY, INTEGRITY, FIDELITY, AND ETHICAL BEHAVIOR

A moral compass guides the actions people choose and is based on meeting the needs of the greater good. One aspect of the moral compass ishonesty. An example of a wavering moral compass was seen with Lance Armstrong, who started his professional cycling career in 1992. In 1996, he was diagnosed with cancer from which he recovered. When he returned to his career in 1998, he had the support of legions of fans who admired his spirit. However, in 2012, as a result of doping charges (which he initially denied), he was banned from the sport. Armstrong justified his usage by stating others were doing the same thing.

A different scenario occurred with golfer Brian Davis. In a championship game, he called a penalty on himself. Since the official did not see Davis’s error, they watched the action in a slow-motion replay, which revealed it. Although his honesty cost him the game, his demonstration of integrityearned him the respect of colleagues and fans.

Fidelity describes people who demonstrate faithfulness. In May 2013, Edward Snowden leaked top-secret papers about Internet-surveillance programs. Some felt his actions were wrong. He defended himself by stating his intent was right because he wanted to inform the public about questionable actions of the government. The answer to whether he acted with fidelity depends on who is asked.

George Everly Sr.’s family came to America in the late 1600s and farmed for 300 years. Although farming was a long tradition in his family, he chose to attend college and join the Army. When he spoke of his service in WWII, he focused on duty and camaraderie rather than the stories of destruction that are inherent in any war. When he was offered a D-Day medal in 1994, he was reluctant to accept it because he was simply doing what he said he would do, being guided by his moral compass. This is a sharp contrast to today’s modern world, where many people expect a trophy just for showing up.

Ethical behavior is demonstrated by people who do the right thing. It is a natural response for those who operate with honesty, integrity, and fidelity. Tylenol demonstrated ethical behavior in 1982, after seven people died from taking their capsules. When it was revealed that those tablets were laced with cyanide, Tylenol recalled all the products still on the market. They also implemented tamper-resistant packaging to prevent this from occurring again. Although the financial costs were huge, Tylenol become known as an ethical brand.

People who are not comfortable with their past actions can form a new moral compass by:

*Believing in themselves. People must realize that they can act with a moral compass. When they make an effort, they will eventually find that honesty and integrity become intrinsically rewarding. When reward results from an action, it increases the likelihood of that action occurring again.

*Surrounding themselves with people who operate with honesty and integrity. Individuals who operate with a moral compass encourage others to do the same. Spending time with such people makes it natural for all members of the group to operate with a moral compass.

*Receiving encouragement and support from others. A peer group is important beyond the teenage years and needs to be composed of quality people.

*Learning to manage impulsive behaviors. This helps people develop a better sense of control and reinforces the positive actions they are capable of. Small successes helps people believe they can have even more success.

RELENTLESS TENACITY: TRY, TRY AGAIN

Resilient people do not give up when they do not achieve immediate success. Rear Admiral Garry Bonelli, a Navy SEAL, enlisted after dropping out of college. Being a SEAL requires rigorous training, including physical tests. When Bonelli failed the 1.5 mile run by a few seconds, he immediately asked for the opportunity to do it again. Although his score was worse the second time because of fatigue, he was accepted into his unit because of his tenacity.

Patrick Rummerfield is a living miracle. At the age of 21 he was in a horrible car accident, was told his death was imminent, and at best he was a quadriplegic and would never walk again. Going against his doctor’s advice, he began an intense physical therapy program and become the first fully recovered quadriplegic. As if that was not enough, he also competed in an Ironman triathlon in 1992. He states the key to his recovery was never, ever giving up.

People who believe they lack such personal tenacity can build it up through several methods:

*Persevering to attain small successes, which help tenacity become self-sustaining.

*Learning about tenacity by reading stories about people who have it, such as Bonelli and Rummerfield.

*Creating a team that supports their efforts, which makes reaching a goal much more doable.

GAINING STRENGTH FROM THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS

When people bond together over shared beliefs, they are able to build resilience among the group members. Interpersonal support is a requirement for building resilience and is demonstrated in the stories of Donald Gene Tyson and Erika Brannock.

Raised on a small farm, Tyson quit high school to join the navy at 17. Although he failed the written exam, he begged for an opportunity to be accepted with his friend, who enlisted at the same time. The navy chief relented and accepted him. Later, when facing a disciplinary hearing for under-age drinking, Tyson answered truthfully and performed his sentence; his division officer then had the incident expunged from his record. Being supported by an authority figure helped Tyson believe he was worth investing in. His went on to become a SEAL, even though he initially did not know how to swim, and earned a college degree. Tyson credits the attitude and the support of others for his resilience.

Excited to watch her mother run in the Boston Marathon in 2013, Erika Brannock was standing near the finish line. Unfortunately, she was close to one of the two bombs planted by terrorists when it exploded. When she woke up in the hospital, she learned they had to amputate her legs. Shocked and saddened, Brannock quickly decided that being miserable was not an option. After initially feeling isolated and defeated, she used humor to cope and made a choice to focus on what she had, which was the encouragement and support of the people in her life, rather than what she lost.

Group support does not just happen, but it can be built because of five elements that lay the foundation for interpersonal reciprocity:

1. Direct reciprocity, or quid pro quo. One person helps another, knowing that someday help will be given in return.

2. Spatial selection. People help others they know through proximity.

3. Genetic selection. People help out others they are related to.

4. Indirect reciprocity. People help, not expecting something in return, but because they admire something in a person.

5. Group selection. People choose to help because they are unselfish and wish to benefit the “greater good.”

Surrounding oneself with positive people is an important step for building group support. Those who lack a personal support system can build it by:

*Seeking out people with similar attitudes and compassion.

*Being appreciative and showing gratitude for what others do.

*Being patient with other people.

*Not taking things personally and recognizing that some people are simply rude and inconsiderate.

*Listening more than speaking. This includes being 100 percent present rather than trying to multitask and giving only partial attention in a conversation.

*Asking “Why am I talking?” before adding something to a conversation.

*Paraphrasing what is heard so far in a conversation to ensure there is understanding.

Although social support is represented by a group of people who surround one person, it also applies to an entire community. Healthy communities are those that learn to adapt and build capacity for long-term sustainability. In fact, studies of community resilience following a trauma or disaster credited six factors:

  1. Members of the community being connected.
  2. A sense of cohesiveness and group identity among members.
  3. Swift psychological care or intervention.
  4. Honest, open, and accurate communications among all members.
  5. Respect shown regarding personal loss, and acknowledgment of survivors and heroes.
  6. Leadership.

In such communities, resilience must be an integral part of the atmosphere and culture.

LESSONS LEARNED ABOUT HUMAN RESILIENCE

The five key factors for resiliency occur in order because each factors leads to the next:

  1. Active optimism results in self-confidence, which leads to…
  2. Taking decisive action and making hard decisions that are based on a…
  3. Moral compass that address integrity and ethics, which employ…
  4. Determination to seek out hidden opportunities with …
  5. Interpersonal support from a positive network.

Practice is required for each factor in order for people to find success. It starts with focusing on the positive aspects of events. Switching from a negative focus to a positive one requires some help from role models and encouragement from others, as well as the self-control to problem solve appropriately. People who do not identify themselves as resilient today can be hopeful about developing it.

COACHING PRINCIPLES

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Believe in Human Potential for Greatness

First and foremost, coaches need to believe that all people have special gifts that make them uniquely magnificent. Belief in human potential is absolutely essential to helping people maximize their talents. This belief needs to persist despite initial evidence to the contrary, despite mistakes and difficult circumstances. Even subconscious doubt could increase the chances of negative outcomes.

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Fulfillment Flows from Adding Value to Others

Coaching helps clients improve their lives and experience fulfillment through goal achievement, problem solving, learning, and overcoming limiting beliefs. In turn, coaches also experience fulfillment from seeing clients improve and succeed. This emotion further inspires coaches to do even better work for their clients and experience greater fulfillment.

Bring Out the Best in People and Let Them Lead

Clients who set their own goals take responsibility to deal with the consequences of their behavior. Micromanaging coaches sabotage this important element of success. Some clients are accustomed to controlling environments and need time to adjust to taking charge of their own careers. In this situation, coaches simply need to persist patiently. Coaches should maintain faith that their clients are able to find and implement solutions without over-management.

Use Influence Rather than Position

Successful coaches do not act like bosses, and successful coaching relationships are not based on positional authority. Instead, coaches use positive relational influence. The clients of these coaches take action because they want to and they see the benefits of that action, not because their coaches told them to. Coaches who are humble and work collaboratively with clients create this influence, and their clients respond in kind.

Thrive on Challenges and Flexibility

When dealing with challenges, the best attitude for coaches to have is a welcoming one. In fact, good coaches and poor coaches are separated by how they respond to challenges. Each challenge is unique and needs to be treated as such. No matter the challenge, it is vital that coaches do not personalize failures. Facing failure does not make someone a failure.

When We Grow Others, We Grow Ourselves

Coaching not only helps organizations improve but also helps coaches grow personally. Personal growth is an often-unexpected benefit of coaching others. Coaching requires excellent listening skills, belief in others, persistence, and a positive attitude: the same attributes help people become better parents, spouses, and friends.

A Coach Still Needs a Coach

Even highly experienced coaches need to have their own coaches. Coaches are constantly giving to their clients and need support. In addition, coaches without their own coaches may fall victim to their own pride or blind spots.

Maintain Authentic Rapport and Humor

Positive relationships are a necessity for coaching to work. Taking the time to build rapport at the beginning of a coaching relationship and as needed as the relationship progresses can improve client results. The key is for the rapport to be authentic. If clients suspect they are being manipulated, they will likely resist taking action.

Touch a Heart with Care and Sincerity

Coaches need to provide clients with unconditional care backed by sincerity, even when clients are not performing well. In fact, when clients are struggling, they most need coaching support. Without care and sincerity, there is no trust.

Practice Integrity and Build Trust

Trust is essential for relationships to succeed. To build trust, coaches need to demonstrate transparency and keep private information confidential. Clients need to see that coaches have positive intent and act accordingly.

Curiosity Ignites Your Spirit

Coaches need to be curious and encourage that quality in their clients. No coach has all the answers, and exploring new ground together helps strengthen the coach-client bond. It can also feel exciting for both parties.

Ask Questions that Empower and Create Buy-In

When decisions are made for people, they are less interested in completing the task. For important choices made by someone else, that lack of interest is magnified. Clients need freedom to make their own decisions. Coaches therefore need to ask empowering and motivating questions to facilitate that process and help clients develop self-confidence and avoid dependence.

Avoid Judgmental and Advice-Oriented Questions

When judgments come in the form of questions, clients immediately recognize the deceit and usually become defensive. Even well intentioned coaches may ask advice-oriented questions. Successful coaches ask truly unbiased questions that do not include suggestions.

Powerful Questions Release Solutions

Complex, roundabout questions are not helpful in coaching. Effective questions are simple and clear. Given the importance of the topics clients explore with their coaches, waiting patiently while the client formulates a response is also necessary.

Asking Great Questions Requires Practice

There are many potential mistakes coaches can make when asking questions, including asking:

*”Why” questions, which often leave clients feeling criticized. “What in this situation makes you angry?” is better than “Why are you so angry?”

*Bombarding questions, which can overwhelm clients.

*Poorly expressed questions, which clients can misinterpret.

Listen Rather Than Tell

To help clients reach their potential, coaching relies on the Socratic method, which requires excellent listening. Outstanding coaches listen carefully to what clients are saying, ask for clarification when necessary, and listen for what is left unsaid.

Be Present and Turn Off Your Inner Dialogue

Intent listening usually leaves the listener a bit tired. Removing distractions, such as noise, e-mails, and text messages, as well as becoming fully engaged in conversations are all necessary to make intent listening possible.

Avoid Jumping to Premature Conclusions

It is so easy to jump to conclusions that most people do so without even realizing it. Unfortunately, these conclusions can color coaches’ thinking and blind them to important insights. Clarification, even when it does not seem especially necessary, is an essential coaching practice.

Be Impartial and Nonjudgmental

Given the importance of acceptance in coaching, coaches need to practice both components of empathy: intellectual (understanding feelings) and emotional (appropriately responding). They also need to avoid imposing their opinions on clients.

Listen Deeply, Use Observation and Intuition

Insights result from a combination of deep listening, observation, intuition, curiosity, and great questions. Through deep listening and observation, coaches can identify patterns. Intuition will often then arise, but it is important for coaches to continue to ask great questions rather than assume their intuition is accurate.

Embrace Feedback to Triumph

Even the most self-aware clients cannot see everything about themselves; their coaches must fill in the gaps and provide feedback that comes from a place of positive intent. Like questions, feedback should not include judgments or advice. Clients must also give their coaches feedback. Coaches who view this feedback as valuable information will use it to become even better.

Awareness and Acceptance Cultivates Transformation

Lack of awareness often impedes clients’ progress. Coaches who notice patterns help clients understand past frustrations and past successes. Awareness also helps people recognize their strengths and achievements, which constant work toward new goals can sometimes obscure.

Get Consent Before Giving Suggestions

When coaches give advice, clients often feel obligated to follow it. Furthermore, what would work for a coach may not work for a client. A better approach is to give suggestions only when absolutely necessary and with client permission. The result is sustained client motivation and increased focus on creatively solving problems.

Use the Power of Simplicity

Clients usually do not see themselves and their situations objectively because they are too close to both. Coaches help clients distance themselves, determine core issues, and see the big picture, all of which helps clients more easily find the solutions they need.

Establish Goal Ownership & Commitment

Clients are responsible for setting their own goals. Coaches are responsible for supporting clients and helping them clarify their goals. Goals that work:

*Are specific and measurable

*Follow a clear timeline

*Are achievable yet challenging

*Present opportunities for personal and professional growth

Create Strategies and Action Plans for Goals

Coaches help their clients create strategies and action plans to achieve their goals. Ideal topics to explore initially and review regularly with questions include:

*The resources and sacrifices necessary to achieve the goal

*Priorities and how new goals relate to other commitments

Keep Score of Goals and Action Steps

Scorecards, which clients should create, show progress in a clear way. They keep people motivated, remind clients of their recent accomplishments, and even help them learn how they can improve their performances. Coaches can use scorecards to guide conversations about improving future outcomes.

Support Goals Completion Continuously

It can be easy to hold off on celebrating until a goal is accomplished, but doing so robs the client of the rewards of working toward a goal. In addition, setbacks can cause clients to feel bad about themselves. Celebrations and other support structures, such as follow-up calls, e-mails, and automated reminders, help keep clients on track.

Accountability Drives Accomplishments

When clients fail to accomplish their tasks, coaches need to work on understanding the reasons for the lapse while maintaining their standards. Many clients benefit from working with accountability partners, such as colleagues, in addition to their coaches.

Acknowledge Efforts and Progress

Consistent praise for efforts made toward achieving a goal reinforces clients’ motivation and self-esteem.

Published by prism philosophy

Leading Training, Coaching & Consultancy firm are prolific Human Process Interventionist specializes in Facilitation, Training, Coaching, Yoga & Wellness and OD Consultant. Founded in year 2011 as Prism Trainings & Consultancy created Prism Philosophy and now called PRISM WORLD Pvt Ltd.(www.prismphilosophy.com) Contact us at 919818446562, anubha@prismphilosophy.com, https://twitter.com/philosophyprism

Think Feel Behave

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Sometimes life’s circumstances are out of people’s control. However, how individuals think, feel, and behave as a result of those circumstances is very much within their control. It is simply a matter of learning to think, react, and respond in positive and productive ways. Sebastian Bailey and Octavius Black share scientifically based exercises and techniques anyone can use to train the mind to think positively and productively, including resetting thoughts, taking control, deepening connections, persuading others, resolving conflict, letting creative juices flow, and minimizing stress. The result is a more successful, fulfilling life.DSC_0009

RESET THE MIND

Though individuals might believe they have little to no control over how they think, react, and respond, the reality is quite the opposite. Recognizing and consciously exercising the ability to control one’s thoughts, reactions, and responses can be life-changing.

Flip the Switch on Automatic Thinking

Many people operate on autopilot, unconsciously and habitually repeating established thought processes and behaviors. This tendency can lead to dissatisfaction and a lack of fulfillment. However, individuals can lead more directed, satisfying, and productive lives by learning to focus on both internal thoughts and external conditions and then actively switching between the two realms. The steps to achieving this objective are:

*Becoming aware of one’s inner voice.

*Eliminating self-critical thoughts.

*Increasing engagement with the outside world by paying attention to one’s surroundings.

*Being present in the moment.

Think Like an Attentive Optimist

Optimists tend to see the positive in most situations and attribute negative circumstances to external forces. Pessimists tend to look for the negative in any situation and internalize responsibility for whatever goes wrong.

Compared to pessimists, optimists enjoy many benefits, such as living longer and achieving more; therefore, becoming more optimistic is a desirable aspiration. However, a little bit of pessimism can pay off ay times, especially when the decision-making stakes are high or adopting too rosy an approach compromises credibility.

Attentive optimists seek a realistic balance by taking responsibility for events while maintaining a positive attitude and self-image. The first step to achieving this balance is to identify optimistic and pessimistic traits in others and then look for these traits in oneself. The next step is to increase optimistic thinking by keeping a daily journal of good thoughts and experiences. Lastly, ongoing candid self-analysis can help an individual maintain a balanced perspective.

TAKE CONTROL

Some circumstances are beyond an individual’s control, while others are well within it. Recognizing when and how to take action are important steps in gaining a sense of control over one’s life.

Take Charge

There are two types of mind-sets: reactive and proactive. Reactive people are fearful, feel powerless to influence the course of their lives, and avoid taking action. Proactive people let go of what they cannot change, turn their attention to what they can change, and take action in a positive direction. Even small actions can make a big difference.

Taking charge of one’s life begins with understanding whether one’s own locus of control is external (reactive) or internal (proactive). Then, an individual can evaluate all possible actions available for changing a given situation and take steps toward effecting that change.

Start a New Chapter

When people say they cannot do something, most of the time they really mean they will not do it. Doing or not doing is mostly a matter of choice. Fear is often the motivator behind inaction.

Decision making takes place within the existential cycle of doing, contemplating, preparing, and experimenting. Some people never move beyond what they are currently doing in life. Others might contemplate a change, but never prepare for it. Some get as far as preparing for a change, but then decide not to make that change because of the catastrophic fantasies they envision as a result of it. Individuals who complete the cycle cross the Rubicon by committing to the change.

To effectively manage change, individuals must recognize where they tend to stay in the cycle, evaluate the benefits and drawbacks of that position, and then systematically work toward conquering their fear of change. We started new chapter of Wellness and Yoga in pandemic time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXF_6The6h0

End Procrastination Now

Procrastination can be a destructive habit, but like any other habit it can be overcome. People procrastinate because they:

*Have become complacent and over-confident.

*Are avoiding the discomfort of doing something they do not want to do.

*Fear they will fail.

*Are waiting for the right emotional climate in which to take action.

*Are performing other actions to mask the procrastination.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to identify the motivator behind it and the form the procrastination takes. General techniques individuals can use to put a stop to procrastination of all kinds include:

*Committing to working on a project in consecutive, five-minute increments.

*Motivating themselves by setting short-term goals and rewards.

*Establishing unbearable personal consequences for the procrastination.

*Being open about their tendency to procrastinate and enlisting others’ support.

DEEPEN CONNECTIONS

Fulfilling interpersonal relationships make for a fulfilling life. Individuals have control over the quality of their relationships with others.

Get in the Right Relationship Mind-Set

Every individual has a relationship mind-set that represents that individual’s thoughts and attitudes toward others. This mind-set is developed in childhood based on a person’s interactions with caregivers. The four mind-sets are:

1. I’m Okay/You’re Okay: People, including oneself, are inherently good.

2. I’m Okay/ You’re Not Okay: An individual feels superior to others.

3. I’m Not Okay/You’re Okay: An individual feels inferior to others.

4. I’m Not Okay/You’re Not Okay: All people are bad.

The objective is to adopt the I’m Okay/You’re Okay mind-set, which is achieved through:

*Positive self-affirmations.

*Taking actions, even small ones, to improve a situation.

*Applying personal strengths as often as possible.

*Acknowledging others’ praise.

*Eliminating negative thinking.

*Creating positive explanations for others’ behavior.

*Looking for the good in other people.

*Being patient and allowing for others’ mistakes.

*Lowering expectations of others.

*Forgiving.

Bid for Attention

Relationships are built or broken based on the small, ongoing interactions people have with one another every day. These interactions can be described as bids–overtures that require a response. Often these interactions are unconscious. The type of bid communicated out and the type received back determine the quality of the interaction, and thus the quality of the relationship.

Toward bids are positive and often create a virtuous cycle of ongoing positivity. Against bids are negative and generate bad feelings. Turning-away bids express disinterest and generate hostility and defensiveness. By recognizing his or her own and others’ bid styles, a person can deliberately modify his or her bids to create more positive relationships.

Get the Best from People

Understanding what motivates others is the key to getting the maximum benefit out of a relationship. Individuals tend to fit into one of four motivational styles:

1. Carers seek harmony and want to be liked and appreciated.

2. Drivers are goal oriented and like to make things happen quickly.

3. Professionals are very thorough, analytical, and process oriented.

4. Adapters combine the other three styles to fit the situation.

Individuals who want to accomplish their goals should build upon their own and others’ strengths as well as modify their own behavior to better accommodate the other styles.

PERSUADE OTHERS

Influencing others can be challenging, because most people believe they are right. However, persuasiveness can be a very powerful tool for achieving objectives.

Win Hearts and Minds

Persuading others is based on understanding the reasons behind their thoughts and feelings and then appealing to those reasons. There are nine tactics for influencing others:

1. Reasoning is the fact-based, logical staple of influencing that is applicable to most situations.

2. Inspiring seeks to sway people based on emotion and possibilities and works well when a logical argument is weak.

3. Asking questions is an approach that engages the other person in the outcome and is effective when there is an imbalance of power.

4. Cozying up leverages an existing bond between individuals and works well with peers.

5. Deal making is an effective tactic when there is something of equal value to trade.

6. Favor asking only works well in mutually caring relationships.

7. Using silent allies is a successful tactic when the person to be influenced is fearful about risk and wants to fit in.

8. Invoking authority is a standard practice in hierarchical situations in which objectives need to be accomplished quickly.

9. Forcing is the least effective method of influence because it does not truly influence, it simply commands.

Impress Everyone

Charismatic people win others over with their personalities. Luckily, charisma is a developable trait. Techniques for increasing one’s charisma include providing hope, being passionate, establishing connections with others, matching words with actions, using emotionally compelling and descriptive language, being generous with words, drawing mental pictures that tap memories, telling good stories, injecting the element of surprise, and putting others at the center of the story.

Give Great Feedback

Building successful relationships with others requires providing authentic, positive, and developmental feedback.

Praise is one of the easiest ways to enhance interpersonal relationships, but often people are reluctant to offer it because they think it is unnecessary or they feel awkward providing it. The best praise is delivered on time, without the need for reciprocation, and within a receptive environment.

Counsel is equally important for guiding others to do and be their best, but it must be used with care. The hallmarks of well-done developmental feedback are objectivity, directness, and respect.

RESOLVE CONFLICT

Conflict is inevitable. However, techniques for successfully resolving conflict can turn a bad situation into a good one.

Detox Relationships

Individuals can develop destructive communication patterns with specific partners. The following suggestions for breaking those patterns will deactivate six nasty argument poisons:

1. Assuming: Making assumptions about another person’s experience can be overcome through empathy, agreement, or an honest observation of the facts.

2. Generalizing: Recognizing the exceptions and keeping to specifics can derail the tendency to generalize about another’s behavior.

3. Attacking: Casting a person in a positive rather than a negative light and trying to understand his or her perspective can reduce the impact of negative statements.

4. Rejecting: The words “no” and “but” can be transformed into a positive by replacing them with the words “yes” and “and.”

5. Defending: While attacks inspire the desire to defend oneself, owning responsibility and expressing empathy can move the conversation in a positive direction.

6. Interrupting: It is always best to let the other person completely have his or her say before responding.

Navigate Difficult Conversations

The following six principles provide the foundation for authentic dialog in which all parties seek resolution:

  1. Strive for clarity on what each participant desires as an outcome.
  2. Approach the conversation with empathy, openness, and honesty.
  3. Ensure each participant shares his or her story.
  4. Avoid retreats and attacks by acknowledging others’ concerns and reaffirming goals.
  5. Remain even-tempered in the face of an attack.
  6. Mutually create a plan of action, even when a solution has not emerged.

Take the Drama Out of Relationships

Sometimes individuals find themselves in similar destructive conversations, but with different people. Recurrent conversation patterns stem from the individual not recognizing the repetitive behavior and/or receiving an emotional reward from it. In either case, it is the individual who needs to make a change, which requires one or more of the following tactics:

*Recognizing and then strategizing with conversation partners about how to break the habit.

*Controlling one’s own responses when engaged in conversation.

*Leaving mid-conversation to take a break.

LET THE CREATIVE JUICES FLOW

Creative thinking is an increasingly valuable skill that can be developed by anyone.

Overcome Creative Blocks

The key to becoming more creative is to remove the filters that influence perception. While these filters are useful for making sense out of the world on a day-to-day basis, they can block creative thinking. Five common filters are:

  1. Making assumptions about the problem based on existing knowledge.
  2. Presuming to already know the solution based on similar problems.
  3. Imposing real-world parameters over a situation instead of thinking outside the box.
  4. Allowing expertise to interfere with alternative solutions.
  5. Being too literal.

Individuals can boost their creativity by setting objectives, establishing a time limit for generating ideas, looking for quantity rather than quality ideas, suspending judgement, recording ideas as they come, and allowing for ambiguity.

Master the Tools of Creativity

Creativity-enhancing tools can ignite inspiration and unearth innovation. These tools include:

*Generating a list of opposites to reveal new options.

*Breaking a goal down into its parts and then recombining the parts in new ways.

*Freely associating words that seem to have no relationship to one another.

Tap the Unconscious Mind

People think on three levels:

  1. Automatically, as they navigate their daily lives.
  2. Through active problem solving by the conscious mind.
  3. Within the intelligent subconscious, where imagination takes place.

Creative thinking is enhanced by expanding on the capabilities of the subconscious mind. This expansion is achieved by allowing an idea to incubate in the subconscious, actively daydreaming, or performing stream-of-consciousness writing (where ideas flow freely without form).

MINIMIZE STRESS, MAXIMIZE BLISS

Stress is now such a common component of daily life that people are actually becoming accustomed to it. While excess stress can be debilitating, there is an optimal level of stress that can improve performance and add zest to life.

Make Stress Work

Stress can be represented as a curve that begins with calm, rises into eustress (the level of stress that provides optimum performance and satisfaction), declines into distress, and if not alleviated, culminates in extreme stress. Individuals can monitor and control the effects of stress by developing an awareness of where they are on the curve in any given situation and then taking steps to either increase or reduce their stress levels.

Combat Stress

There are nine techniques for overcoming excess stress:

  1. Alter the assessment of the situation toward a less catastrophic view.
  2. Alter the assessment of the outcome toward a less negative view.
  3. Reframe the situation in a more positive light.
  4. Celebrate the positive rather than focusing on the negative.
  5. Apply mental energy constructively instead of worrying about the situation.
  6. Take a break from the situation in order to rejuvenate.
  7. Garner support from others.
  8. Mentally explore options rather than chastising oneself.
  9. Confront the situation and take action to eliminate similar stressful situations in the future.

Switch the Mind Off

The mind and the body are connected. There are physical techniques individuals can use to help their minds function better. Relaxation is an important element in improving the mind’s functioning. Breathing and visualization are two relaxation techniques that give the mind a rest.

When people are stressed, they breathe with their chest rather than their diaphragm. This type of breathing is shallow and does not allow the full amount of oxygen required for improved physical and mental functioning. Individuals can relax their bodies and improve their mental processes by learning to breathe properly at all times and taking deep, diaphragmatic breaths when stressed.

Visualization allows individuals to create a relaxing picture in their mind that helps reduce the physical and mental effects of stress. Visualization is not only relaxing, it can also help individuals achieve their goals. Athletes sometimes use visualization to improve their performance. For example, golfers often visualize an upcoming golf stroke to increase the likelihood they will perform that exact shot.

CONCLUSION: BACK TO THE BEGINNING

People’s perceptions change throughout their lives. Perceptions from the past are especially powerful, and can strongly influence perceptions in the present and future. However, all of a person’s life experiences–past, present, and future–shape how that person thinks. The mind is constantly developing.

Exercising the mind expands its capabilities and can result in increased satisfaction and fulfillment in all areas of life. Every individual has control over this effort and should take the time to regularly exercise his or her mind. Working out the mind and the body is a lifetime endeavor.

Mega Challenges

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Societies and companies are confronting three enormous challenges that demand major changes to the way business has always been done:

Screenshot 2021-09-03 at 11.48.38 AMMega Challenge 1: Hotter (and Cleaner). Estimates by leading consultants, such as McKinsey and PricewaterhouseCoopers, suggest that individuals and businesses must reduce carbon emissions by at least 80 percent by 2050 in order to avoid damaging climate change. Although the challenge seems daunting, Winston believes there are encouraging signs around reduced carbon emissions. Pursuing science-based reduction targets is profitable for companies, many large companies have established and already attained aggressive reduction targets, and more and more companies have started to make the Big Pivot when it comes to climate change. The bank HSBC has estimated that by 2020, the climate economy will exceed $2.2 trillion each year.

Mega Challenge 2: Scarcer (and Richer). As people in developing countries become more prosperous and join the middle class, resources are becoming scarcer and more expensive. In the face of dwindling resources and rising prices, radical efficiency is the most practical option for businesses and economies at large. Water is of particular concern. It is a very local commodity that is not transferable, but is essential for industrial development and human life. Winston suggests that one of this century’s biggest challenges will be how societies manage water in the coming years.

The best way to solve these problems is through innovation. In addition, it will be necessary to question strategic choices and consider collaborative consumption. Innovation must focus on both resource efficiency and “heretical innovation” that reinvents the way businesses operate and reduces consumption levels.

Mega Challenge 3: More Open (and Smarter). With the power of the Internet, one customer’s voice can be heard around the world and make or break a company’s brand. Many businesses are taking a proactive approach and tracking online conversations so they can preempt potentially damaging publicity. Winston observes that “radical transparency” is not going away and environmental and social issues are getting more attention than ever before.

Big data is a resource that can be used to improve environmental performance, but maintaining the data centers to store and analyze this information requires significant amounts of energy. Data can be sliced and diced to empower buyers with the information they need as they make purchases. Consumers are also starting to engage in “collaborative consumption.” Firms that make longer-lasting, more sustainable products could gain greater market share.

Companies are turning to open innovation and engaging diverse stakeholders including employees, customers, and others to collaborate and solve complicated problems. This approach will be essential for addressing the mega challenges that exist today and that demand the Big Pivot.

The tools, techniques, and mindsets that companies used in the past to deal with social and environmental challenges will no longer be adequate. It is important to keep in mind that addressing the three mega challenges is not philanthropy. The Big Pivot strategies espoused by Winston focus on creating business value, as well as environmental and social value. Organizations that fail to make the Big Pivot will face reduced profit margins and lower value.

The first step is to decouple business growth from material use. In conjunction with this task, businesses must also reexamine what business growth means. The pursuit of consistent and compounding growth is not possible given the current reality. In lieu of constantly increasing profits, companies may instead focus on improving product quality, enhancing customer satisfaction, or boosting the health of communities.

Eliminating problems such as carbon emissions, toxic waste, and poverty are aggressive goals, but some organizations that are making the Big Pivot are using zero impact as the starting point for their efforts and expanding into restorative products and enterprises. An important way to attain zero impacts is to close every loop possible. A circular economy will demand new technologies, design changes, and shifts in mindsets. Although capitalism creates obstacles to sustainability, it can be powerful if used properly. It will be important not to prioritize short-term profit maximization over long-term prosperity and survival. Prism Philosophy quality programs focusses on how positive impact can be created.

Winston has identified four major hurdles that hinder most companies from pursuing the Big Pivot:

1. Scale and interconnectedness. The magnitude of global challenges is so huge and the problems are so interconnected that it can be hard for people to grasp. Radical efficiency (i.e., 80 percent to 100 percent improvements) is the only way to bring enormous problems to a more manageable scale.

2. Short-termism. Many companies focus heavily on short-term movements in their stock prices. This makes it hard to invest in initiatives that have a longer-term payback. Making the Big Pivot means making big bets for the long term.

3. Valuation gaps. In business, benefits that are hard to quantify are often assumed to have no value even though they could dramatically affect a company’s value. New incentives are needed so organizations will do the right thing for the long term.

4. Silos. Big Pivot solutions require a holistic world-view. Unfortunately, most organizations are siloed into different functions. Shifting to the Big Pivot requires systems-based thinking and working across functional boundaries.

Three Big Ideas

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When planning out a piece of copy, most copywriters use the AIDA approach, which stands for attention, interest, desire, and action. This has been a proven method since the 1950s. While it can be effective, there is an even better structural approach, which is composed of three big ideas:

1. Using promises to engage emotions. Customers make purchasing decisions based on what companies are promising them. Rather than make readers search for a company’s promise, a copywriter should highlight that promise and define it explicitly. Promises register better than benefits because readers process promises emotionally. A well-written promise is specific and triggers at least two emotions, one of which should be curiosity.

2. Using secrets to unlock readers’ emotions. Secrets are tempting to readers for two reasons: They represent rarity and provide a sense of inclusion. Making readers feel as though they have been trusted with a secret will also make them feel more powerful.

3. Using stories to create connections. Stories and storytellers have been around as long as humans. Stories told in copywriting should be quick, suspenseful, and surprising, otherwise readers may lose interest.

Developing Customer Empathy

Successful copywriters exhibit insight and empathy, making each reader feel as though the writing is intended specifically for him or her. Writers must utilize personal copy, which demonstrates true understanding of readers, instead of personalized copy, which merely reflects that they have inserted data that was gathered about readers. It can help writers to think of their target readers as fictional characters, imagining their day-to-day lives and responding to them. Writers must also shift their perspectives from what interests them to what interests their readers.

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Compliments can have a wonderful effect when delivered with sincerity. The key to flattery, or exaggerated praise, is to ensure that the core of the compliment is true so the reader will not mind the exaggeration.

The Ancient Greek Secret of Emotionally Engaging Copy

The ancient Greeks were among the first to use language to inspire action. They were more politically minded than today’s typical copywriters, but a lot can be learned by examining how the Greeks built their arguments.

Aristotle’s theory of persuasion rested on three main components:

1. Ethos, the character of the speaker and what gives him or her a credible voice.

2. Pathos, the emotional appeal of the argument, or how the reader becomes engaged.

3. Logos, the intellectual reasoning behind the argument.

Copywriting needs to use the same three components in some combination. Most copywriters are more comfortable with the logos aspect of their sales pitches, so starting with ethos is a good way to find new approaches.

Connecting on Social Media

Business writing for social media is rapidly becoming a necessity for every modern professional. There are three major factors writers must keep in mind when using social media:

  1. What to say.
  2. How to say it.
  3. How to protect their reputations.

In order to be effective, copywriters need to make their content original, fresh, and authentic. They can do this by using blogs, videos, and webinars. All of their content must follow the same rules as traditional copywriting: It should be engaging, clear, friendly, accessible, and trustworthy.

When writing for social media, writers must remember that brevity it important. Social media copy must be tailored to catch readers’ eyes as they scan through their newsfeeds. The beginning of the subject line is most important for sparking interest, and the entire line should be no more than 29 to 39 characters long. The writer’s job is to cut away as much as possible until the core of the message is all that remains.

PRISM Executive Coaching

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PRISM Executive Coaching
PRISM Philosophy

BCG PROJECT – COACHING Session 2 
June – July 2021
PRISM CoachesAverage ScoreFeedbacks
Inderjit Kaur4.712
Dr.Anubha Walia4.649
Sarita Rochwani4.634
Capt Shikha Saxena4.620
Renu Khanna4.543
Manpreet Uppal4.535
Ajay Ramakrishnan4.533
Jayashree M Braganza4.517
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Leaders who expect the best from themselves and others are able to deal effectively with challenges and issues. Limiting negative beliefs and expectations about themselves increases productivity and innovation. However, positive attitude is not going to drive results without a reward. There needs to be an incentive to get the required results.

For instance, if leaders want someone to volunteer to be on their team, they should let the volunteer choose the assignment rather than be assigned a task. This way volunteers will feel they are in control of their desirable assignments rather than stuck with undesirable chores. Choices keep good productive volunteers on the team, and they will be excited to sign up again the next time a project comes around

There are three tips for titleless leaders to get the best results from others:

  1. Raise the bar. Leaders adjust to the levels of demands made on them and those around them. Pushing to exceed standards, leaders will find other people want to be around those who raise the bar and aim for higher achievements.
  2. Expect more – get more. Leaders who expect more from others and themselves will get it. They can encourage followers to show their innovation and resourcefulness by bringing out the best in them.
  3. Decide on the thoughts that fill the day. Leaders can change their days simply by thinking about the outcome. For example, if they think they are problem solvers, then they will figure things out. If they think the work will be difficult, then it will be.

At Prism Philosophy, our Coaches are titleless leaders for organisation leaders and helping them to realise there goal and act as transformational coaches. We are happy to share the feedback received average feedback of 4.75 for completing 1115 coaching hours in pandemic times.