COMMUNICATE WITH RESPECT

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The most important skill for any leader to have is the ability to communicate effectively. image1-4.jpegThis means clearly articulating a vision, connecting with people in a way that promotes understanding and listening to really hear what people have to say. Six obstacles limit effective communication:Screen Shot 2015-11-13 at 5.35.33 pm

  1. Moving too fast, which can happen due to overreliance on email and texting.
  2. Listening too little.
  3. Failing to show respect for others.
  4. Making assumptions about what others know or understand.
  5. Ignoring the importance of nonverbal communication.
  6. Not checking for understanding.

A key aspect of effective communications is asking the right questions at the right time. There are two kinds of questions:

  1. Closed questions: Questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”These questions convey minimal information.
  2. Open questions: Questions that begin with journalists’ words: who, what, when, where, and why. Open questions produce more information and can be followed by phrases such as “tell me more,” to solicit more information.

The Johari Window, a communications model developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, stresses the two-way nature of communication. Exposure, on the vertical axis of the window, is the measure of how well communicators let others know what is going on in their minds. Feedback, on the horizontal axis, measures how well communicators are receiving and understanding what is going on in the other party’s head.

There are 10 approaches that can help leaders increase the amount and effectiveness of their exposure. Leaders must:

  1. Be sure their specific concerns are clear by describing specific situations and how they reacted.
  2. Never assume they know what others are thinking or feeling.
  3. Be careful not to convey a judgment — positive or negative — of other people’s characters.
  4. Give concrete examples of what they mean.
  5. Give information rather than advice.
  6. Tailor their conversations to the receivers’ needs.
  7. Check for understanding.
  8. Avoid overloading receivers with information beyond what they can handle and use.
  9. Be level with receivers without “leveling” them.
  10. Maintain their sense of humor and be willing to laugh at themselves.

Listening is a very important part of effective communication. People engage in four types of listening:

  1. Physical listening: The listener is bodily present, but not really paying much attention to what is going on.
  2. Tape listening: The listener is not really interested in what the other person is saying, but is just attentive enough to be able to repeat back word for word what has been said if asked.
  3. Judgmental listening: The listener is developing a rebuttal rather than seeking to understand what the other person is saying.
  4. Active listening: The listener is 100 percent present, with a goal of understanding and not necessarily agreeing.

Active listening is the preferred listening style. One tool to help achieve this is paraphrasing, or repeating what the other party has said in an accurate and neutral summary. The second is reflection, or acknowledging the feelings or emotions the other party has conveyed. In both paraphrasing and reflection, it is important for people not to sound condescending or to give the impression that a technique is being employed.

About anubhawalia

Anubha Walia, Trainer, Facilitator & OD&L Professional is a prolific Human Process Interventionist, Wellness & recreation Engagement coach carries 20 years of rich experience, and has worked with top of the line blue-chip​ organizations like Honeywell, ICICI Bank, Moody ICL Certification were she was heading ODL, Trainings & Quality verticals. Her areas of expertise include human process intervention, Organisation Development, Change engagement Learning, Team building & Recreation, Wellness & Yoga and Quality implementation.

109 responses »

  1. Brilliantly conceptualized key points about Effective communication & Active listening!.The approach to step by step inputs mentioned is easy to connect & understand. These guidelines are the key points which when implemented can assure effective interaction. On the whole,it rightly convey the idea of Clarity of Thoughts & Clarity of Speech with measured speed & volume with body language (majorly non verbal) are the powers of effective communication one must cultivate.
    Overall an impactful Presentation!
    Thanks a lot ma’am 😊

    Like

  2. Well explained about the effective communication how the leader use good communication to increase the amount and effectiveness to their exposure. A good communication skill that brings the world together. When it comes to business and workplace especially, showing respect through communication is key to developing relationships.

    Like

  3. The article is very helpful as it is easy to understand and implement right away in real life. The obstacles listed are very true to what we experience or how our behavior might affect someone. Looking forward to trying out the approaches mentioned. All four types of listening can be identified in merely every classroom situation, it resonates a lot with us, students! Thank you Ma’am for sharing this with us!

    Like

  4. The article was very insightful, communicating with other with respect is indeed very needful. I would surely be inculcating all the positive approaches mentioned here. thank you so much ma’am for sharing this with us.

    Like

  5. It is indeed really important to listen to other people without any prejudice. We shouldn’t assume if they’re right or wrong without fully listening to them and understanding their words. Nobody would want to follow a leader who doesn’t give importance to their member’s words. It’s important to listen to them and make them feel included in the whole process. Without communication it’s not team effort.

    Vishwani
    PE (Manpreet Ma’am)

    Like

  6. Very informative..!Really good & helpful points to keep in mind for developing better communication skills and leadership qualities ..I hope I can implement these good qualities in my life to make it better..Thanks for making me understand it through this blog….

    Like

  7. This article is going to be really helpful in future, not only to me but so many! How easily we can forget that all relationships work 2 way. It effortlessly explains how during conveying a message, the speaker and listener both play an important role. I will definitely try to follow these now onwards.

    Like

  8. This is an amazing article on how to communicate with respect and the value of active listening. Communication is an extremely important aspect of our everyday lives that is so easy to overlook. Different ideas, perspectives and backgrounds are what make a workplace multifaceted and push progress.

    Like

    • Communication is the key to put your views across the table and to speak your mind however communicating with mutual respect and confidence that needs to be more focussed upon. This article brilliantly touches upon the dos and don’ts of communicating better with a hint of active listening to actually make the conversation a two way thing instead of a monologue.

      (P.E. Manpreet Ma’am)

      Like

      • Communication is not a science problem and there is no set formula to nail it… But somehow, this article manages to bring out the best mix of approaches one should practice to communicate in the best way possible. It’s good to find all technicalities explained in such distinct and concise manner. Surely, it’s going to inculcate more professionalism in readers.

        Like

      • Communication is such an important aspect of life. And respectful communication is even more necessary in today’s time. This article really highlights the importance of proper communication and how listening is as important as talking.

        Like

    • Absolutely love how structured and to the point the information was. It is very essential to be aware of these approaches in our everyday lives

      Like

  9. The article accurately explains the importance of communicating effectively. It builds respect and trust which is very important in today’s world. I am looking forward to implementing these points.

    Like

  10. Communicate, that is what majority of us fail to. The article has talked about all the aspects of being a good communicator which is very important in today’s scenario. As now we all are becoming more of a chatting people rather than just talking in person to person it has become important to focus on the way we communicate what words we speak and also think about the other person in front, as we really don’t see that person. I could find all the points in our PM Mr. Narendra Modi, whom I think is a good communicator and that’s what counts for his trust with the nation. A good communicator is a good listener too. After reading to the points of being a good listener now I can clearly understand the saying that “why God gave 2 ears and just a mouth.” It was for this only that u should listen more, the more we listen the more we will be able to communicate..and .. not just communicate but communicate better..

    Kartikey Gupta
    (PE BATCH- Avani Ma’am)

    Like

    • The article briefly articulates how and why communication and listening are such important parts of our life that we must learn to live by.
      It is important always to speak your mind but be polite and kind when doing so. This also makes sure that the other person would actually listens to you. There are closed and open questions that are important for effective communication. Closed questions are yes and no questions whereas open questions are directed to solicit more information and knowing about opinions and views of individuals. The article tells that the johari window is an effective communication tool to look deeper and know more about who you are. Listening and acknowledging another person is also an important tool in communication. The key here is to not be judgemental, condescending or ignorant when the other person speaks out. The article is an eye opener to not only know the right path to genuine communication but also focuses on how to be a better person by listening to what others have to say.

      Like

  11. Communication is the greatest concept in all of existence. It has so many features and so many benefits, given that it is done effectively as well as respectfully. This article covers important aspects and limitations we might face during communication, clear as a crystal. Being a good communicator is a great skill one should work towards acquiring. The limitations mentioned are relatable as I think most of us go through ineffective communication from time to time. I will keep these points in mind and try to communicate as well as listen as effectively as possible. Listening is not an easy task and one should work on active listening, as sometimes we tend to only hear rather than listen.

    Overall very informative and something to be actually used in our daily lives.

    Marisha Kumawat
    PE- avani ma’am

    Like

  12. This article clearly expresses how just voicing your opinions is not communication but how it has so much more to it, how hearing and listening are two different things and how a person who is hearing may not necessarily be listening to it actively.
    The article also states the various facets of communication and how a johari window can give us an idea from what is going on in both the communicator’s and the receiver’s mind.
    Overall , it talks about what are the various aspects to be taken care of when communicating so the results are exactly what is expected out of that act to be.

    Like

  13. A very interesting article, well articulated. Provides a better understanding of how we can communicate effectively, overcoming all barriers of any sort, and also how to ask the right questions which would help to extract the most out of any situation/circumstances. The Johari window model, too, seems an interesting one, simple yet effective way.
    I like how special attention is paid to ‘listening’ . Most of the times we are so busy in expressing our views, our opinions, our thoughts, that we forget to listen.

    Tvisha Pohekar
    AD – 7
    PE : Babita C

    Like

  14. The article very precisely explains the concepts of communication and listening, and about the importance of getting them right. The pointers are easy to follow especially when these qualities are sometimes taken for granted. The limitations explained and countered further makes concepts like active listening and effective communication easier to follow and inculcate. The article, all in all, was very clear and informative.

    Like

  15. This article gives great insight on communication skills that I will consciously try to follow in my life. I can relate to all the points touched upon in the article.

    I think it is rightly said that showing respect through communication is the key to develop trustworthy and honest relations. No matter who we are speaking to , it is important to be polite, courteous and kind. Listen graciously and instead of talking about the people, we should talk to the people as it makes things uncomplicated, clear and deliver better results. And I personally believe that disagreeing in a conversation is not bad if put forward in a right way, alongside valuing other people’s opinions and viewpoints. When this type of communication prevails, the system becomes more efficient and open.

    Like

  16. Sticking true to the title on how to communicate with respect. Most people don’t understand the fact that the small details in one’s body language and vocabulary brings about a huge impact when communicating with someone and professionally that is one great skill to have.

    Like

  17. Effective communication is very important to enhance any relationship. It helps us to connect well with the world and become an active listener which is also very important to carry a communication so that the speaker doesn’t feel less important or disrespected at any point. We would be at a standstill without communicating properly. This article highlights the importance and ways of communicating to bring out efficient results beautifully.

    Like

  18. This article has decoded the communication skills as a mathematical formula. It will help in our fields while displaying our concepts to the clients etc. and in our practical life too.

    Like

  19. Communication is of utmost importance in any field, professional or personal. It is the key to effective understanding and to achieve maximum efficiency amongst any set of people. It is important to listen to others not just physically, but actively, as this article very rightly states. Communication helps cross barriers and build ground for mutual respect. Very insightful read!

    Like

  20. I really like the graph part of this article which explains how to measure effective communication . There are many ways to convey our message to someone but the most important part is to listen our audience or people (where we are going to speak) actively with 100% presence of mind and body which will not only help us to understand their mindset but will also help us to know how and when we have to use a particular word, phrase or example to communicate with them effectively.

    Like

  21. This is an amazing article indeed. The way listening to someone and how to communicate with others is explained leaves an impact on the reader. There is a need of good listeners these days because we are so busy in our lives that even if someone tries talking to us we start getting agitated or probably just rush and most of all we judge their feelings. Active listening is the beast thing one leader or a person could do. One should always try to maintain a level of understanding and make it more effective. It is very easy to judge but very difficult and disheartening to get judged.

    Like

  22. Communication nowadays is as involuntary as a beating heart or breathing. But like these 2 natural processes, communication if not done in a correct manner can lead to adverse outcomes. This article has well-articulated how we can be present at the moment to stand as a good communicator. I personally find non-verbal cues to be something that we miss while we present ourselves in front of others. It’s very important to adhere to these points to have an efficient system of communication leading to an efficient system altogether.

    Like

  23. Communicating effectively is indeed a very important skill that we all need to acquire, very well written and explained. Understood the importance of many points which i never thought were as necessary. Thankyou.

    Like

  24. Nice introduction to the Johari window, good summary of points for all aspects of dealing with communication, wonder what communication do’s and don’ts are in the time of corona and how this list may be adapted to that

    Like

    • Communication is an integral part of our lives, but just communication is not enough. Communicating with respect is the most important thing and if everyone would practice this, this world could truly be a better place. The article was very informative right from the start and I enjoyed reading it thoroughly m

      Like

  25. Thank you for highlighting the importance of communication. It is an important aspect in any field. Also, wonderful explanation of the importance of non-verbal communication.

    Like

  26. There are a myriad of core principles associated with ethical communication, starting with the core value of honesty that all other values are connected to. However, it can be said that there is a value underlying honesty (with regard to ethical communication) and that is emotional intelligence/empathy as the precursor of all soft skills, which allows all personnel to be understood, and to effectively communicate with others. Emotional intelligence, within the framework of ethical communication, allows one to understand the needs of others, and meet those needs in the most efficient manner possible as if you were in their shoes. These all learnings can be gauged from the informative article provided above.
    Thank you
    Kritika Bora (NIFT)
    (Avani Ma’am Batch)

    Like

  27. Very well explained the importance of communication. Agreed all the points that engage people of listening.
    Listening is a very important part of effective communication.

    Like

  28. This article clearly expresses how just voicing your opinions is not communication but how it has so much more to it, how hearing and listening are two different things and how a person who is hearing may not necessarily be listening to it actively.
    The article also states the various facets of communication and how a johari window can give us an idea from what is going on in both the communicator’s and the receiver’s mind.
    Overall , it talks about what are the various aspects to be taken care of when communicating so the results are exactly what is expected out of that act to be.

    Like

  29. The article encapsulates the essential responsibilities that a leader has towards their team members, in regards to how they might be on an equal stand instead of the leader being on a pedestal. Proper communication is essential for this and the article clearly shows us how a leader can essentially “earn” respect while at the same time ensure that there is proper teamwork and trust among their teammates and a clear goal to aspire towards. Often, despite their best intentions, leaders unwittingly obstruct communication that might not be apparent to them immediately, so the article talks about that as well. It is essential for leaders to create an environment that allows inquisitiveness, so the article gets plus points for stating how to do so. In the end it is the teamwork that helps achieve goals and the article gets that point across.
    – Adrija
    PE Module
    Ms Babita

    Like

  30. This informative article shows clear and crisp ways on effective communication from both sides, the listener and the speaker. In today’s times, a lot of us are bad at communication. But it is a salient feature for driving successful change and the lack of which also hinders us from building meaningful relationships.

    Here, we’re shown how speaking your mind does not only involve saying those words plainly, but also observation of the other side and then appropriate reciprocation (by giving examples, not being judgemental, tailoring it to them etc.) to make sure they fully understand what we want to convey respectfully. This leaves no room for any misunderstandings and encourages honesty and trust between people.
    I think the Johari Window model (developed by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham) was a great example to visually depict the nature of communication.

    Like

  31. Communication is one of the most important traits an individual possesses. Therefore effective communication is of utmost importance. This article decodes the importance and necessity of effective communication and listening using apt concepts to explain it.

    Like

  32. The blog is very well articulated. It stresses on the importance of effective communication and highlights ways to achieve the same.
    These days we are more inclined towards chatting and gossiping rather than communicating. This is due to negligence of other’s feeling and opinions and often something goes astray which eventually results in misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts.
    The article beautifully conveys that effective communication isn’t mere exchange of information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, one needs to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood ( Active listening). The johari window concept has been introduced well and has motivated me to study it further. The article is insightful and forces you to introspect. It has definitely inspired me to be a better listener.

    – Naimisha Srivastava
    Nift
    P.E. by Ms Babita Chaudhary

    Like

  33. This provides some really great insights and also emphasizes on the significance of communication.We often tend to forget how big a role communication can play.The biggest misunderstandings can be avoided and a lot of differences and be solves with clear communication.
    Also liked the part about being a good listener.We had a very interesting discussion about the same in our class with Avani ma’am

    Like

  34. Communication is the key to an effective relationship. Effective communication not only helps you in expressing yourself correctly but also creates a respectful image into the minds of the listener without creating any misunderstandings. This article helped me to reflect onto a lot of things, I identified my flaws and I feel it’ll help me to become an effective speaker and listener. It also states that both speaking and listening correctly holds an equal importance. Humans are social animals and communication in both verbal and non verbal ways plays a crucial role right from the beginning, and still we don’t know so many key factors related to communication. This article was a paragon of ethics. I was amazed by how simply these dynamic rules were explained. Moreover, the Johari window was simple yet highly knowledgeable and new to me. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article.

    Like

  35. This article, so concisely, explains the importance of communication. It covered every possible aspect in such an effective manner.
    If I may say so, this article itself is an amazing example of effective communication. In today’s day and age, many of us may not be present physically among our team members for such conversations and many important things are discussed in mail and text.
    I believe being able to express yourself clearly on such platforms with clarity and brevity is crucial today.
    I also really enjoyed reading about the four types of listening, and to be honest, it makes you introspect and be mindful to how you handle conversations. I am surely going to be using these tips to become a more effective communicator, which is essential on so many levels, for success.

    Sonakshi Dabas
    PE (Manpreet Ma’am)

    Like

  36. Ethical communication is predicated upon certain business values, such as being truthful, concise, and responsible with one’s words and the resulting actions.

    This article brilliantly touches upon the what should be done and what shouldn’t. Humans rely on communication to express personal desires of what needs to be done, and how it is to be done. Communicating is better when the other person is actually listening. We should always wait and listen and then speak, it shouldn’t be like you are waiting to speak, not listen.

    Shalisha Vedant
    (P.E. Avani Ma’am)

    Like

  37. Ethical communication is predicated upon certain business values, such as being truthful, concise, and responsible with one’s words and the resulting actions. This article brilliantly touches upon the what should be done and what shouldn’t. Humans rely on communication to express personal desires of what needs to be done, and how it is to be done. Communicating is better when the other person is actually listening. We should always wait and listen and then speak, it shouldn’t be like you are waiting to speak, not listen.

    Shalisha Vedant
    (P.E. Avani Ma’am)

    Like

  38. An interesting article. This article helps to understand the how earning someone’s respect and then maintaining it is the most important thing. I am really grateful for coming across this article, it really helped me and I think I can apply this in future. The article beautifully put forwards that concept, and has helped me to get a better idea of the corporate world.

    Shalisha Vedant
    PE – Avani Ma’am

    Like

  39. Very important points covered. Everything covered in the blog is the primal information one should know if working in the corporate sector or even any other sector. Great work!!! Please keep it up 🙂
    Navdha Kapoor, PE (Avnee B)

    Like

  40. Very well explained. I feel while we certainly won’t agree with everyone, we need to be willing to listen to the views of others even as we respectfully share our own. We must show that we care for others, even if we don’t agree with them. Regardless of their opinion, everyone deserves respect. Even when we are passionate about our opinion and bold in sharing our thoughts, if we are open to the fact that we could be wrong, it will keep the conversation safe. Who knows, we may even learn something!
    P.E- Babita Chaudhary

    Like

  41. Communicating with someone in such a way that they got attracted with your words is really important. We should always listen to people actively or carefully and then reply to them in order to build trust in their eyes or we can say it will show effective communication between people. We should always take care about our body language when we communicate with someone as it makes difference. We should check back either people are getting our points and views or not.

    Saurish Kumar (NIFT,New Delhi)
    Avani Ma’am

    Like

  42. I got to learn a lot of new things from this article such as the types of listening, paraphrasing and role of questions. Communication is the most important soft skill because a lot of things depend on it such as how you relay information, how you motivate, how you guide etc. Mastering this opens up the possibility of making right a lot of wrongs.

    Like

  43. Prachi Dhaka, NIFT Delhi, PRISM Trainer- Ms. Anubha Walia

    A good communication skill that brings the world together. When it comes to business and workplace especially, showing respect through communication is key to developing skills in the corporate world.

    Like

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